Global warming unthaws warrior mermaids and mermen frozen during last ice age

By: Dr. Jeff Masters , 12:49 PM GMT on April 01, 2010

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Global warming has unthawed an entire race of warrior mermen and mermaids in the Arctic, scientists revealed today. At a packed press conference in Boulder, Colorado, Dr. Mark Xyzzy of the National Institute for Cryosphere Exploration and Tertiary Research on Yetis (NICETRY) revealed the details of the discovery: "We've been operating robot research submarines under the sea ice in the Chukchi Sea north of Barrow, Alaska this winter, as part of International Geophysical Year studies on the dynamics of arctic sea ice loss," commented Dr. Xyzzy. "Last week, one of our submersibles caught a remarkable video of a warrior mermaid, armed with a trident, riding past the submarine on the back of a narwhal. We were able to track the mermaid to her home--an underwater merfolk city at the bottom of the Chukchi Sea. The city had been thawed out in 2005 by warm water currents invading the Arctic due to global warming. These mermaids and mermen had been frozen into the underwater permafrost since the onset of the last ice age, 115,000 years ago. We undertook immediate efforts to establish communications with the merfolk, by sending in divers with underwater writing boards who were able to work out a simple symbol-based language. We learned that the Chukchi Sea merfolk are at war with a tribe of rival merfolk in the Greenland Sea. The two tribes have been fighting a heated underwater battle for dominance of the Arctic Ocean ever since global warming thawed out both tribes in 2005. It is the explosions from their undersea battles that have been the dominant cause of arctic sea ice loss since 2005, not global warming, as had been previously assumed. A team of experienced United Nations negotiators is now in the Arctic, attempting to broker a truce between the rivals and save the arctic sea ice from further destruction."


Figure 1. Merfolk negotiator Urgok Nzgradborkan and an exhausted U.N. diplomat take a break after a grueling all-night round of peace talks.

Critics of climate change science immediately pounced upon the news to unleash a new barrage of criticism against the National Intergovernmental and Territorial Panel to Investigate Climate Change (NITPICC). "The computer climate models used by the NITPICC utterly failed to anticipate the record loss of arctic sea ice due to underwater explosions from merfolk battles," commented spokesman Markoff Chaney of the Very Competitive Free Enterprise Institute. The Institute maintains of staff of top-notch scientists who swear that their funding from the fossil fuel industry does not affect the objectivity of their science. "This new "mermaid-gate" scandal proves that we can't trust climate models to say diddly-squat that's right about global warming, nah-nah-na-nah-nah!" taunted Chaney.

The head of NITPICC, Dr. R. J. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname, conceded that his organization had some work to do. "We're working very hard to incorporate the effect of underwater explosions from merfolk sea battles into the NITPICC models," said Dr. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname. "We've also begun to explore the impacts on sea ice should other denizens of the Arctic unthaw. For instance, the possibility exists that plesiosaurs from the time of the dinosaurs may be frozen in the underwater arctic permafrost. Should global warming thaw out these great leviathans of the deep, the turbulence from their swimming motions could cause significant cracking and breakup of the sea ice. We now have a new plesiosaur parameterization module built into our top models to account for this possibility."

Dr. Xyzzy of NICETRY commented, "I applaud NITPICC's efforts to incorporate their Underwater Merfolk Battle Module and Plesiosaur Parameterization Module into the climate models. However, I caution that they might also need to build modules to simulate the effects of astrology, thermography, ice-nine, and the warming effect of hot air coming out of Washington politicians, before critics of the NITPICC models will be satisfied."

April Fools!

Internet radio appearance today
I'll be appearing with San Francisco-based wunderground meteorologists Shaun Tanner and Tim Roche on The Daily Downpour Internet radio show at 4:20 pm EDT today, to talk about weather, hurricanes, and climate change. There will not be the opportunity to call in today. No foolin'!

Jeff Masters

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happy april fools day everyone:),god bless...good night,tomorrow could be the start of a fierce severe wx season for tornado alley!!
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Check it out! Shortwave IR satellite imagery is picking up on the Loop Current in the Gulf of Mexico and the Gulf Stream off the eastern Florida coastline.

Photobucket
Member Since: September 7, 2008 Posts: 17 Comments: 1604
Quoting Chicklit:

We're in agreement then.
I have not seen any African dust predictions.
What are people saying about the Trade Winds?


From memory trade wind speeds are, and are forecasted to be, below average which would be positive for development.
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Quoting Seastep:
Hey kman. Good to see you.


Hi there.

Good to see you too. I was looking at the TCHP map today and noted that readings were well above those of 2009. Of course, SST is but one of many factors influencing tropical cyclone activity but the pre season signals seem conducive.
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Quoting StSimonsIslandGAGuy:
Well I read Douglas Preston's Impact, about strangelet matter being shot at the earth by an alien gun.

However, if strangelet matter was really a threat, I think strangelets would have converted all matter into strange matter long ago. Just think of a stangelet falling into a large star billions of years ago, converting the star and the star going supernova--all those gases and clouds, moving around, turning every bit of matter they touch into strange matter--other stars, new stars, new supernovas.

If matter was really that unstable in the presence of strange matter, I think all normal matter would have been converted. Long ago.

Maybe it was. And is. Maybe our matter IS strange matter 0.o
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Quoting Chicklit:

Well then, we're in agreement.
This will not be a repeat of 2009.


An active cold front season tends to correlate to an El Nino winter and whether the NAO is positive or negative. That is because low pressure systems tend to cut across the deep South which in turn swings the cold fronts into the GOM and the NW Caribbean with great frequency when El Nino and the NAO are set up in a conducive pattern.

After such a winetr set up we tend to see neutral or La Nina conditions the following hurricane season, hence my belief that conditions will swing towards above average activity.
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Quoting kmanislander:


Ouch !!
ON that point [lol] I think I'll head off to bed. Tomorrow I need to look at the lime tree. (no breadfruit tree in the yard, unfortunately...)
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Hey kman. Good to see you.
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Quoting BahaHurican:
LOL May I suggest that the limb u go out on not be on the lime tree??? lol could be painful......


Ouch !!
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Quoting kmanislander:


Lime trees like it dry. My breadfruit tree did drop a couple but the rest are holding and getting quite large.

I still think the cold front frequency is a better gauge for an active season to come.

We're in agreement then.
I have not seen any African dust predictions.
What are people saying about the Trade Winds?
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Quoting stillwaiting:
has anyone gone outside tonight????,must be thousands of meteors per hour,it looks like the end of the world!!!..are there any astroids close to the earth????this is really scary


April Fools?
Member Since: September 7, 2008 Posts: 17 Comments: 1604
Quoting kmanislander:


My mango tree is in full bloom now and so is my lime tree and my breadfruit tree. I am going to go out on a limb here, pardon the pun, and call for an above average hurricane season based upon the abovementioned factors.
LOL May I suggest that the limb u go out on not be on the lime tree??? lol could be painful......
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Quoting kmanislander:


Lime trees like it dry. My breadfruit tree did drop a couple but the rest are holding and getting quite large.

I still think the cold front frequency is a better gauge for an active season to come.
We had quite a few pass through this year.
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Quoting stormwatcherCI:
This is what I have heard from a couple of older folks lately that we need to pay heed this year because the mango tress bore fruit so early this year. My breadfruit tree had on a lot but not holding I think because it is so dry but the lime tree is doing very good.


Lime trees like it dry. My breadfruit tree did drop a couple but the rest are holding and getting quite large.

I still think the cold front frequency is a better gauge for an active season to come.
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has anyone gone outside tonight????,must be thousands of meteors per hour,it looks like the end of the world!!!..
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Your prayers will be answered CI.
Just be prepared for a deluge.
God is generous and indiscriminate.

Cool link Baha:
"Going to high ground. Saw-grass bloom. Hurricane coming."
Zora Neal Hurston was a lyrical writer.
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Quoting Chicklit:

I think you're due for a soaking.
We're not having the El Nino this year, looks like more neutral conditions. Was shear that saved you last year.


Shear and African dust saved us.

This year we have had week after week of one cold front after another. In fact, several weeks have seen two a week. Previous years like this have seen above average activity in the following season so I am expecting that this year will likely see a few close calls for the Caribbean with a couple of strikes.

The real issue is where the Bermuda high sets up.If it bridges back to the SE US we could see big trouble in the Caribbean
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Quoting kmanislander:


My mango tree is in full bloom now and so is my lime tree and my breadfruit tree. I am going to go out on a limb here, pardon the pun, and call for an above average hurricane season based upon the abovementioned factors.
This is what I have heard from a couple of older folks lately that we need to pay heed this year because the mango tress bore fruit so early this year. My breadfruit tree had on a lot but not holding I think because it is so dry but the lime tree is doing very good.
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Quoting kmanislander:


My mango tree is in full bloom now and so is my lime tree and my breadfruit tree. I am going to go out on a limb here, pardon the pun, and call for an above average hurricane season based upon the abovementioned factors.

I think you're due for a soaking.
We're not having the El Nino this year, looks like more neutral conditions. Was shear that saved you last year.
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Quoting Levi32:


Checked....absolutely no correlation with Caribbean hurricane activity. It's random. In fact every year since 2004 has seen faster-than-normal trade winds in the western Caribbean from December to March, with the exception of 2005 which had slow trades in March, but fast trades before that.

Of course this is all without knowing about the mangos. I'd like to know what they did in every year since 2004, except Stormwatcher said Ivan in 2004 wiped away the fruit for a while. But, years like 2006 should have seen less fruit, and years like 2004, 2005, and 2007 should have seen more.
I don't really remember much about mangoes in 2007 but we had a great crop of breadfruit that year and didn't even lose many from Dean. I live on the eastern end of the islands which usually receives the brunt from most hurricanes that approach us but 2007 was not bad for crops that year.
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Quoting Levi32:


Yeah...this is from a paper on the storm.

Many efforts were made to warn people about the hurricane. Local folklore accounts state that Seminole Indians sensed that a storm was approaching. Some document that the Indians noticed the migration of sea birds, unusual blooming of the saw grass and the unnatural activity of the wildlife. The Seminoles tried to warn residents of the Everglades and Lake Okeechobee areas. Few took heed. Those that did leave the area with the Native Americans were spared.



Then this is from another document:







Ouch... Porto Rico must have been devastated by that storm.
Member Since: September 7, 2008 Posts: 17 Comments: 1604
Quoting Skyepony:

Someone should find the saw grass blooming quote from the natives leaving as everyone stayed to pick in SFL cause it was paying too much to leave~ then the lake got them. Think it was 1928.
Well I found this:

http://www.peoplesobold.net/2005/09/saw-grass-blooming-indigenous.html
Link
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Quoting Chicklit:
I'll bet if you interviewed people about their mango eating experiences during those years you'd find some valuable anecdotal information.


My mango tree is in full bloom now and so is my lime tree and my breadfruit tree. I am going to go out on a limb here, pardon the pun, and call for an above average hurricane season based upon the abovementioned factors.
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Palmetto bugs come inside when it's going to flood, don't they?
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Quoting Skyepony:
The whole mango thing is similar to why the pollen counts are off the charts this year. It stayed cold, with no good growing days, yet rained, so once it warmed things bloomed almost forcefully. This has been the top 3 year of red maple seeds for me (04 & 05 are there). As a conasour of mangos with a local friend I trade for them..there does seem a correlation that that and everything that seeds does better in an active season. 2 weeks of way early warmth last year followed by cold messed with last year causing the double bloom. Those are all long term & each individually not in stone in my book.. but when the swamps flower a show & the saw grass bloom.. the pine beetle infested trees die in groves when there is no drought.. that's the short term warning 'cane is coming.

Someone should find the saw grass blooming quote from the natives leaving as everyone stayed to pick in SFL cause it was paying too much to leave~ then the lake got them. Think it was 1928.


Yeah...this is from a paper on the storm.

Many efforts were made to warn people about the hurricane. Local folklore accounts state that Seminole Indians sensed that a storm was approaching. Some document that the Indians noticed the migration of sea birds, unusual blooming of the saw grass and the unnatural activity of the wildlife. The Seminoles tried to warn residents of the Everglades and Lake Okeechobee areas. Few took heed. Those that did leave the area with the Native Americans were spared.



Then this is from another document:





Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26698
Quoting StormW:
Animals do sense weather changes. I was stationed on a Cutter in Portsmouth, VA. back in 1993. Hurricane Emily was heading for us. The evening before watches and warnings went up, it was an eerie quiet. Usually, there were squirrels running around and climbing trees. There were normally birds chattering and flying around. That night, there was quiet. There was not one squirrel to be found, nor were there any birds flying around, not even any chirpping...it was dead quiet.


I would think they could sense air pressure changes. I can.

And I only thought the Bufo was an annoying cacophony from the everglades.

Toad is a telltale for impending quakes: scientists

Thanks for the update, btw.
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I'll bet if you interviewed people about their mango eating experiences during those years you'd find some valuable anecdotal information.
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Quoting Levi32:


Indeed...it's too bad that I'm terrible at researching anything that I don't already have a bunch of links to. Googling is overrated.
What u need is a bunch of eager on the ground research assistants willing to gather the basic data....lol; googling won't help much here, sadly.
But still an intriguing proposition.
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380. xcool
Link


NHC Conference:
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Here, my friends, is the danger of Strangelets:
If the strange matter hypothesis is correct and a strangelet comes in contact with a lump of ordinary matter such as Earth, it could convert the ordinary matter to strange matter.[12][13] This "ice-nine" disaster scenario is as follows: one strangelet hits a nucleus, catalyzing its immediate conversion to strange matter. This liberates energy, producing a larger, more stable strangelet, which in turn hits another nucleus, catalyzing its conversion to strange matter. In the end, all the nuclei of all the atoms of Earth are converted, and Earth is reduced to a hot, large lump of strange matter.

Hi KmanIslander.
We're working on getting you some rain.
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Hurricane Ivan in Grand Cayman

Member Since: September 7, 2008 Posts: 17 Comments: 1604
Strangelets are one thing but let's hope they don't open up a black hole.

Good evening all
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I'm surprised there weren't more protests about the possibility of producing Strangelets at the Super Collision March 30th.
Here is the crux of the matter:
Although nuclei do not decay to strangelets, there are other ways to create strangelets, so if the strange matter hypothesis is correct there should be strangelets in the universe. There are at least three ways they might be created in nature:

Cosmogonically, i.e., in the early universe when the QCD confinement phase transition occurred. It is possible that strangelets were created along with the neutrons and protons which form ordinary matter.

High energy processes. The universe is full of very high-energy particles (cosmic rays). It is possible that when these collide with each other or with neutron stars they may provide enough energy to overcome the energy barrier and create strangelets from nuclear matter.

Cosmic ray impacts. In addition to head-on collisions of cosmic rays, ultra high energy cosmic rays impacting on Earth's atmosphere may create strangelets.

These scenarios offer possibilities for observing strangelets. If there are strangelets flying around the universe, then occasionally a strangelet should hit Earth, where it would appear as an exotic type of cosmic ray. If strangelets can be produced in high energy collisions, then we might make them at heavy-ion colliders.


And we all know what Strangelets do.
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375. Skyepony (Mod)
The whole mango thing is similar to why the pollen counts are off the charts this year. It stayed cold, with no good growing days, yet rained, so once it warmed things bloomed almost forcefully. This has been the top 3 year of red maple seeds for me (04 & 05 are there). As a conasour of mangos with a local friend I trade for them..there does seem a correlation that that and everything that seeds does better in an active season. 2 weeks of way early warmth last year followed by cold messed with last year causing the double bloom. Those are all long term & each individually not in stone in my book.. but when the swamps flower a show & the saw grass bloom.. the pine beetle infested trees die in groves when there is no drought.. that's the short term warning 'cane is coming.

Someone should find the saw grass blooming quote from the natives leaving as everyone stayed to pick in SFL cause it was paying too much to leave~ then the lake got them. Think it was 1928.
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Quoting StormW:
Animals do sense weather changes. I was stationed on a Cutter in Portsmouth, VA. back in 1993. Hurricane Emily was heading for us. The evening before watches and warnings went up, it was an eerie quiet. Usually, there were squirrels running around and climbing trees. There were normally birds chattering and flying around. That night, there was quiet. There was not one squirrel to be found, nor were there any birds flying around, not even any chirpping...it was dead quiet.
I have noticed that whenever a storm is approaching Cayman the Man 'o War (Frigate birds I think) begin to fly inland a day or two before it impacts our weather.
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Quoting atmoaggie:
Speaking of disasters and animals. You guys see the news about 96% of male toads in Italy becoming scarce around breeding areas 5 days before an earthquake?

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hmbt1xB2HMz-xdvtcGB2KNhAp3ZAD9EPL5900


Yep... Interesting read
Member Since: September 7, 2008 Posts: 17 Comments: 1604
Speaking of disasters and animals. You guys see the news about 96% of male toads in Italy becoming scarce around breeding areas 5 days before an earthquake?

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hmbt1xB2HMz-xdvtcGB2KNhAp3ZAD9EPL5900
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Quoting Levi32:


Yeah, but wouldn't it be so cool if we made a collection of all those tales, then made a checklist for every year to see how well it verifies? I bet we could find some very intriguing stuff to go on. I really want to find a way to do that sometime, but I wouldn't know where to find all the old wives tales. Maybe I should make a blog for people to post the ones they hear about in their communities.
Sounds like a good idea. We have a few people in the 90's still living and what I have mentioned comes from them. I will see what else I can find out and post it when I get more info. One man 98 years old lives right up the road from me and he is a great story teller. I will have to find the time to sit down and talk to him. Another woman in her 90's told me she remembers the '32 storm and rode out Ivan in her house and Ivan was by far the worst although more lives were lost in '32.
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Quoting BahaHurican:
It's one thing checking this forward, but I can't think of a way of checking this in the Caribbean. In the smaller islands we mostly don't have enough of a crop for export, and I am not certain what records, if any, exist for locally consumed produce.... but this is an interesting project.


Indeed...it's too bad that I'm terrible at researching anything that I don't already have a bunch of links to. Googling is overrated.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26698
Quoting Levi32:


Checked....absolutely no correlation with Caribbean hurricane activity. It's random. In fact every year since 2004 has seen faster-than-normal trade winds in the western Caribbean from December to March, with the exception of 2005 which had slow trades in March, but fast trades before that.

Of course this is all without knowing about the mangos. I'd like to know what they did in every year since 2004, except Stormwatcher said Ivan in 2004 wiped away the fruit for a while. But, years like 2006 should have seen less fruit, and years like 2004, 2005, and 2007 should have seen more.
It's one thing checking this forward, but I can't think of a way of checking this in the Caribbean. In the smaller islands we mostly don't have enough of a crop for export, and I am not certain what records, if any, exist for locally consumed produce.... but this is an interesting project.
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Quoting BahaHurican:
But aren't TW anomalies dependent on pressure anomalies?

I asked my folks, and my mom says they used to look at spring tides and so on. Higher than average tides mean it was likely to be busier than normal. She says they also associated dry springs with rainy / stormy hurricane seasons. My dad says they also paid a lot of attention to changes in the skies. I guess none of this is really surprising in a seafaring pple whose livelihood at least partially depended on what they could harvest from the sea. Both my grandfather on one side and my greatgrandfather on the other were sailing sloop captains in the 1920s to 1940s, and they would not have had access to radio, radar or other modern devices. Even a barometer would have been considered a sophisticated and expensive tool in those relatively impoverished times.


Yes but in the Caribbean it highly depends on where the anomalies are and what the strength of the Columbian Heat Low is. Like I said the trades for the last 6 years were mostly stronger than normal in the winter, despite variations in pressure anomalies over the western Caribbean. You have to get a gradient. If the whole area has either low pressure or high pressure then the relative pressure gradient of the environment is still the same for either situation.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26698
Quoting BahaHurican:
I think the indigeneous fauna fares better in some ways than we might expect. After all, they've likely adapted to landfalling 'canes as part of the natural order of things.... insects like mosquitos and wasps may have a harder time in heavy winds, though I have a feeling they have their own protective measures.
It would be nice if it would help with the mosquitoes. They almost ate us after Ivan and no matter how much the planes spray we can't seem to get rid of that nuisance. Not too bad yet this year though cause we haven't had any rain.
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Quoting BahaHurican:
But aren't TW anomalies dependent on pressure anomalies?


That's correct, however, it never hurts to check.
Member Since: September 7, 2008 Posts: 17 Comments: 1604
Quoting StormW:


It was the first time I saw anything like that. The only thing I could think of was "oh crap".
We were hit by a freak storm at night on Captiva Island in 1980. Before it hit, you could have heard a pin drop. Complete silence, and then the deafening roar, snapping of all the trees and our 48 footer being slammed into the concrete dock. It happened at South Seas Plantation.
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The Blog was brilliant today.
Genius.
Lexx and the Stranglets also took note.
HadronCollider
Personally, I'm more concerned about the rapid collider experiment this week.
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Quoting Levi32:


Checked....absolutely no correlation with Caribbean hurricane activity. It's random. In fact every year since 2004 has seen faster-than-normal trade winds in the western Caribbean from December to March, with the exception of 2005 which had slow trades in March, but fast trades before that.
Quoting Levi32:


Checked....absolutely no correlation with Caribbean hurricane activity. It's random. In fact every year since 2004 has seen faster-than-normal trade winds in the western Caribbean from December to March, with the exception of 2005 which had slow trades in March, but fast trades before that.


The answer is probably something very complex that we will never be able to understand.
Member Since: September 7, 2008 Posts: 17 Comments: 1604
Quoting SevereHurricane:


You should try trade winds...
But aren't TW anomalies dependent on pressure anomalies?

I asked my folks, and my mom says they used to look at spring tides and so on. Higher than average tides mean it was likely to be busier than normal. She says they also associated dry springs with rainy / stormy hurricane seasons. My dad says they also paid a lot of attention to changes in the skies. I guess none of this is really surprising in a seafaring pple whose livelihood at least partially depended on what they could harvest from the sea. Both my grandfather on one side and my greatgrandfather on the other were sailing sloop captains in the 1920s to 1940s, and they would not have had access to radio, radar or other modern devices. Even a barometer would have been considered a sophisticated and expensive tool in those relatively impoverished times.
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Jeff co-founded the Weather Underground in 1995 while working on his Ph.D. He flew with the NOAA Hurricane Hunters from 1986-1990.

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