Dr. Jeff Masters' WunderBlog

Jeopardy champion WATSON appointed head of National Academy of Blog Science
Posted by: Dr. Jeff Masters, 4:14 AM GMT on April 01, 2011 +6
Jeopardy champion WATSON--the computer program that earlier this year decisively beat the two all-time human champions of America's favorite game show--has a new challenge. A modified version of WATSON has been appointed to direct a major new scientific organization, the White House announced today. The WATSON spin-off, dubbed HOLMES (short for Highly Objective Lore Machine for Examining Science), will head the newly created National Academy of Blog Science (NABS). The NABS, created in legislation passed by Congress last week, will replace the prestigious National Academy of Sciences (NAS) as the premier scientific advisory organization in charge of advising Congress on scientific matters. "The creation of the National Academy of Blog Science is a huge step forward for America's businesses to help them become more competitive and create jobs," said U.S. House of Representatives Speaker John Bayinghound, who pushed the legislation through Congress.



Figure 1. HOLMES' predecessor, WATSON, clobbering the two all-time Jeopardy champions in a match earlier this year.

Dr. Hal N. Thousand, chief scientist for the Very Competitive Free Enterprise Institute (VCFEI), the pro-business think tank that crafted the legislation to create the NABS, lauded the choice of HOLMES to head the new advisory body. "The old National Academy of Sciences used archaic methods to determine the best science, relying exclusively on peer-reviewed publications. In the peer-review system, papers undergo a lengthy review process by multiple experts in the field, followed by revisions, followed by further review, finally ending in rejection or publication in a prestigious scientific journal. Ignored in the process is the tremendous amount of excellent non-peer-reviewed science published in blogs and in industry publications. HOLMES, once interfaced with the Internet, has the capability to search through all these relevant scientific works and rank the best science with a percentage probability of correctness--just like WATSON did during the Jeopardy championships. If there are popular blogs or a large body of corporate science challenging peer-reviewed scientific findings as being too uncertain, HOLMES will lower the probability of the peer-reviewed scientific result being correct. Thus, the advice given by NABS to Congress will be far more reasonable, taking in a wider range of opinions than those previously considered by the outdated National Academy of Sciences. Grant-based anti-industry "science" developed in ivory towers will no longer be accepted unquestioningly at the cost of jobs. The American tax payer can't afford it. This is the way a scientific advisory body should behave, since any scientific results that hurt corporate profits and thus jobs should be required to be virtually certain. Too often, this country has been misled by science harmful to American business interests, pushed by elitist, alarmist, money-grubbing scientists, out to pad their research grants by falsely crying wolf. It's time to cast down the high priests of this America-hating eco-religion, and let HOLMES, who is incapable of bias, make the decisions on what is the best science."

Dr. Frank Poole, spokesman for the Coalition of Environmental Organizations Against Insanity, who lobbied fervently against the new National Academy of Blog Science, commented: "It is ludicrous to put a computer that thought Toronto was a city in the U.S. during Final Jeopardy in charge of the world's most important scientific advisory body. WATSON also thought Wonder Woman was the first woman in space. This does not bode well for the future of American policy to be based on the best science."

Dr. Thousand countered that the new HOLMES computer would be unlike its predecessor, WATSON. "In the coming months, under HOLMES' new clear vision of science fact, the people will see the peer-review system of science for the corrupt farce that it is, and demand that it be abolished. We are already crafting new legislation to remove all government funding for scientific research that HOLMES judges to be anti-corporate, including all money for climate change research and for the Environmental Protection Agency. That kind of research must be done by concerned citizen-bloggers and by the corporations who might be affected by the scientific findings. Science in this country must be done the democratic way--every citizen will be able to weigh in on their favorite blog site and vote for what they think is the best science. HOLMES, with the aid of an adaptive scientific truth algorithm we are developing, will be able to use the will of the people and the best corporate and blog science to advise Congress on scientific matters, and a brave new world of science-based policy will be born."

April Fools! (I hope)

Jeff Masters
Categories: Humor
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601. PlazaRed 10:52 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting, Senor Grother:-
Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Member Since: January 21, 2011 Posts: 0 Comments: 1442
602. washingtonian115 10:54 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Did anyone see the Jim Kosek video of "snakey,snakey".Gosh that is the most obnoxious weather man .I've ever seen.He practically yells his head off!!!.
Member Since: August 14, 2010 Posts: 5 Comments: 10675
603. Patrap 11:00 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Dats some good thoughts and truisms
Member Since: July 3, 2005 Posts: 372 Comments: 111619
604. Grothar 11:03 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting PlazaRed:


love it!!

Like a leaf, upon a breeze;
I will pass this way but once,
Now older but yet still unfulfilled;
I SHALL cherish the springtime of my youth,
Only to land,upon this slumbering earth!
To fuel life, anew!


The only thing is, I keep on going!!!! LOL
Member Since: July 17, 2009 Posts: 57 Comments: 19553
606. washingtonian115 11:09 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting DARPAsockpuppet:


LOL, yeah, that's his bit, Mr. crazy weather guy. I remember when he broke his foot and you had a week's worth of forecasts where you'd just see his foot on a stool on camera and that was it, and he'd sign off with "For accuweather.com, I'm Jim Kosek's foot". He does a lot of shtick but I guess that's what they hired him for, here is his infamous "snowpacolypse" video.



Aww that was also entertaining to see.Accuweather did a mini biography on him.
Member Since: August 14, 2010 Posts: 5 Comments: 10675
607. Grothar 11:12 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Hey, Patrap, if you can tell me what this one is, you are pretty good.

Member Since: July 17, 2009 Posts: 57 Comments: 19553
608. PlazaRed 11:13 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting Grothar:


The only thing is, I keep on going!!!! LOL


Nobody ever quoted me before:: Manic ego rush, followed by dash to drinks cabinet screaming for cheap vodka and flat beer.
The 'outcome' is that we must provide a stable base for their, future.

Invictus" - "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.

You found it, I had forgotten it!
Now if everybody, or at least a few of 'everybody' could for a short while follow this than there might be a trace of a chance that one day, somebody might begin to grasp that we are not ''infallible!!''
Member Since: January 21, 2011 Posts: 0 Comments: 1442
609. Tazmanian 11:13 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
.
Member Since: May 21, 2006 Posts: 5088 Comments: 111360
610. emcf30 11:16 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Photo of Cloud formation in Central Florida 3/31/11


Member Since: August 7, 2010 Posts: 0 Comments: 1926
611. Grothar 11:17 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting DARPAsockpuppet:


LOL, yeah, that's his bit, Mr. crazy weather guy. I remember when he broke his foot and you had a week's worth of forecasts where you'd just see his foot on a stool on camera and that was it, and he'd sign off with "For accuweather.com, I'm Jim Kosek's foot". He does a lot of shtick but I guess that's what they hired him for, here is his infamous "snowpacolypse" video.





That is the trouble with American TV. In Europe we took our weather seriously. Everything here is a joke. That is why I prefer German news. We take things seriously, just watch this.

img src="">
Member Since: July 17, 2009 Posts: 57 Comments: 19553
612. Grothar 11:21 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting PlazaRed:


Nobody ever quoted me before:: Manic ego rush, followed by dash to drinks cabinet screaming for cheap vodka and flat beer.
The 'outcome' is that we must provide a stable base for their, future.

Invictus" - "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.

You found it, I had forgotten it!
Now if everybody, or at least a few of 'everybody' could for a short while follow this than there might be a trace of a chance that one day, somebody might begin to grasp that we are not ''infallible!!''


I have quoted you before. You just don't remember. Good thing I didn't quote from Cervantes. You would have really flipped out. By the way, I love olives. Live near any olive fields?
Member Since: July 17, 2009 Posts: 57 Comments: 19553
613. Patrap 11:25 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting Grothar:
Hey, Patrap, if you can tell me what this one is, you are pretty good.





Looks Like dat Andromeda strain.



You feed da baby,,he wont drink from me.



Member Since: July 3, 2005 Posts: 372 Comments: 111619
614. Grothar 11:27 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting Patrap:



Looks Like dat Andromeda strain.


You feed da baby,,he wont drink from me.





They were giving him milk, they should have given him what the old guy had. LOL He would have slept better too. LOL
Member Since: July 17, 2009 Posts: 57 Comments: 19553
615. Patrap 11:31 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Squeeze,,

twas Sterno,

yuck-e-o
Member Since: July 3, 2005 Posts: 372 Comments: 111619
616. washingtonian115 11:32 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
I wonder if the nation as a whole will have to see florida's Gov.Charley C. on the news.Mmmmm.Maybe?.
Member Since: August 14, 2010 Posts: 5 Comments: 10675
617. PlazaRed 11:33 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quiet night:-
1.30am here.

Just a note before us Europeans flutter to hang from the old oak beams. Its just that {bad grammar of course} but not to appear to be winging and moaning but!!

Since about 15.30, UTC there has only been one!! earthquake of about 4.8 on the East,{right hand side, of Japan} and this is out of keeping with the last 3 weeks so there may be but not certain as I don't have a ''Danny la Rue'' on these things but there may be a possibility of a bit of a log jam over on the north pacific plate.

Just a thought, {Thort,[[type deep]],}
Member Since: January 21, 2011 Posts: 0 Comments: 1442
618. Grothar 11:34 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting washingtonian115:
I wonder if the nation as a whole will have to see florida's Gov.Charley C. on the news.Mmmmm.Maybe?.


That was our former Governor.
Member Since: July 17, 2009 Posts: 57 Comments: 19553
619. washingtonian115 11:50 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting Grothar:


That was our former Governor.
I liked him during his hurricane prepardness speaches.
Member Since: August 14, 2010 Posts: 5 Comments: 10675
621. Grothar 11:53 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting twincomanche:
To quote Neo, no I won't do that, I'll just say that the Dalai Lama is not exactly a world renowned scientist. Maybe this melt is being caused by the same phenomena that's causing Kilimanjaro glacier melt and has nothing to do with AGM. Just a thought.


You're a tough man, twin. Just a thought. LOL
Member Since: July 17, 2009 Posts: 57 Comments: 19553
622. PlazaRed 11:53 PM GMT on April 02, 2011    
Quoting Grothar:
Hey, Patrap, if you can tell me what this one is, you are pretty good.



I think its one of the Andromeda shots from NASA, not certain as it takes ages to dig them all out of the remote hard drive.
Years ago we had on the BBC 'A' for Andromeda, where they made contact.{via light beams}
Then,similar vein we had that thing on BBC TV where Eric Clapton played the music and they all had a problem with Plutonium. All so similar to what is really going on in Japan now, wish I could remember its name. Might have been called,'Edge of Darkness,' Good name for this kind of thing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eteUUZ8U4Bs&featur e=related
Member Since: January 21, 2011 Posts: 0 Comments: 1442
623. aspectre 12:21 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
When the GreatTohokuEarthquake stretched the eastern half of northernHonshu eastward by ~2.4metres(~8feet), it also caused ~400kilometres(~250miles) of land along coastline to sink an average of ~0.6metres(~2feet); some a bit less, and some a bit more.
Which is why, once there was dry land, there continues to be scenes like this...

Japan Self-Defense Force members in Ishinomaki continue a search operation near an elementary school where lots of the students have been missing since the tsunami.
Member Since: August 21, 2007 Posts: 0 Comments: 4846
624. stormwatcherCI 12:25 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
Link


Interesting article on Black Smokers in the Cayman Trench
Member Since: October 9, 2008 Posts: 0 Comments: 8043
625. Patrap 12:28 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
New radioactivity leak at Fukushima nuclear plant: Toxic water found spilling into Pacific

By Mail On Sunday Reporter
Last updated at 8:48 PM on 2nd April 2011


Japan's tsunami-stricken nuclear power plant is leaking highly radioactive water into the sea from a newly discovered area of damage.

The Fukushima plant has been spewing radioactivity since March 11, when a magnitude 9.0 earthquake and ensuing tsunami knocked out power, disabling cooling systems and allowing radiation to seep out of the overheating reactors.

The water was tonight seeping from a recently found crack in a maintenance pit on the edge of the nuclear site into the Pacific Ocean.


Member Since: July 3, 2005 Posts: 372 Comments: 111619
629. TomTaylor 12:56 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
Caribbean is rapidly warming now, here is a loop of the last 10 days

Member Since: August 24, 2010 Posts: 18 Comments: 3905
630. WatchingThisOne 1:05 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
Quoting Skyepony:
Today's plume report...go here for all of it..


Total amount deposited so far..


Plume for today & tomorrow..


Thanks Skye. Please keep posting those.

The wunderground forecast for downtown Tokyo would suggest that we will see an adverse wind shift for Monday and Tuesday. Swings around 180 degrees during the course of Sunday night.

Edit: the Wunderground forecasts for Tokyo have been doing a fairly good job of predicting winds out a few days. Thus far, we have not seen strong NNE winds. That may only be a matter of time, and should it happen the contaminated area may spread further south and west than it has to this point. The bigger that area, the more concern there will be over surface contamination working its way into the water table.
Member Since: July 15, 2005 Posts: 3 Comments: 1249
631. Ossqss 1:10 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
Member Since: June 12, 2005 Posts: 6 Comments: 8154
632. washingtonian115 1:10 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
Quoting TomTaylor:
Caribbean is rapidly warming now, here is a loop of the last 10 days

It's things like that,that make me cringe.
Member Since: August 14, 2010 Posts: 5 Comments: 10675
633. aspectre 1:20 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
595 Grothar " 'Invictus' -- I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."
608 PlazaRed "You found it, I had forgotten it!"
612 Grothar "Good thing I didn't quote from Cervantes."

meh The man who tilted at windmills said it MUCH better.
Member Since: August 21, 2007 Posts: 0 Comments: 4846
634. DontAnnoyMe 1:22 AM GMT on April 03, 2011    
New Blog!
Member Since: September 21, 2010 Posts: 1 Comments: 3690

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About JeffMasters
Jeff co-founded the Weather Underground in 1995 while working on his Ph.D. He flew with the NOAA Hurricane Hunters from 1986-1990.

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